Dear _________________,
You recently posted an article about
- [ ] Acumen
- [ ] Chemlab
- [ ] Hate Dept
- [ ] KMFDM
- [ ] Sister Machine Gun
- [ ] 16 Volt
- [ ] (other band I don't like) ________________
in rec.music.industrial. Since the above band uses
guitars, I'd just like to point out to you that
- [ ] they must be unoriginal.
- [ ] they sound like Nine Inch Nails.
- [ ] they're too metal-sounding.
- [ ] they aren't a real industrial band.
- [ ] they can't possibly compare to Cabaret Voltaire.
Furthermore, because they
- [ ] don't list Rhys Fulber as an influence,
- [ ] haven't worked with Mark Walk,
- [ ] appeal to a decent-sized fanbase,
- [ ] don't thank Genesis P.Orridge in their liner notes,
- [ ] don't sample from Hellraiser,
I have decided to flame you and the band. I think the band is
- [ ] boring because they don't bang on metal
- [ ] forgetting their roots because they're getting big
- [ ] appealing to a larger fanbase because
they can play a "live" show, so they must suck
- [ ] ripping people off because they're charging $15 for their CDs
when they should give all of their fans free copies
- [ ] worthless because they don't pay attention
to their real fanbase on RMI
, and you,
- [ ] sir
- [ ] madam
- [ ] Mr. Rock Star
, you can just
- [ ] go fuck yourself!
- [ ] quit posting!
- [ ] stop spreading useful information about a band I don't like!
- [ ] logoff and go back to your real life!
- [ ] quit having a good time!
Meanwhile, I'm going to
- [ ] go back to drooling on my :Wumpscut: disc.
- [ ] keep ranting about Mentallo & The Fixer.
- [ ] keep programming my ProTools setup in the
hopes that I can get to be as talented as Mark Spybey.
- [ ] go brag about how elite I am.
- [ ] brood and put on all my goth makeup in
the hopes I can strike it rich tonight.
Yours, ___________________
Written by Mark Beeson
Visitors Since 11/15/97
Last Modified: Monday, 05-Jan-2004 15:50:10 PST